Disconnected, Unplugged and Reset

Do you have trouble with your awful memories?   I am amused when I meet a divorcee who delights in sharing their awful experience during the relationship. The divorce did not disconnect!

I had some of those experiences.  Can’t remember when just now, because I disconnected.

When I plugged in again, the memories were still there but I chose to rewrite the story, embracing the good times!  I disconnected, Unplugged and reset.

Adoption – Family Disconnect

Three years ago on Mothers day, my half sister called and the highlight of the conversation was she said she wasn’t sure I belonged to her Dad.  Since I had struggled with my identity since I was 7,  in anger and disappointment I just deleted her.

I wrote her off,  disconnected, unplugged and never intended to reset.

Fast forward three years and on Mothers day I briefly remembered that call, where I was and the feelings.  I had not spoken with her since the call. Those memories were uninvited and not welcome, so it was a brief stay.

Imagine my flash back of feelings when the phone rang and her identity popped up.  I hesitated then decided I should answer.  No longer disconnected, we were plugged in.

She was calling me at the request of her twin brother, my half brother and the news was shocking.

He had been ill for 2 weeks and the diagnosis was 4th stage cancer.  There was no cure.

He requested her to make calls to relatives and to request prayer. She said I was the first person he asked her to call.  During the next two weeks, I dealt with a flood of unpleasant memories from her, none of which I expressed.   I also felt conflicting feelings of compassion for her. After all he was her twin. He was my brother and in fact she was my half sister.

There was a storm of Love from Him!  We talked 3 times during his hospital stay and covered many wonderful memories.  His illness lasted 4 weeks and he passed on.

During this time, he shared in no uncertain terms with his adult children and those around him that I was and always had been his little sister.  For the first time ever, I was named in an obituary and it listed me as a sister.  As a family, he pushed the reset button!

For three years I unplugged. As children, we did not live in the same house. For me, this time of grief and reconnecting was healing.  I am so excited that the door of love is open with his twin sister – my sister.

Illustrate this with your computer.  When you troubleshoot, the first thing you do is disconnect from the electricity.

Our thoughts are like electrical currents that feed our emotions and escalate to the boiling temperature. If we can disconnect  and not react to the situation, we may avoid an explosion. I did.  In time, we may have the opportunity to rewrite the story.

What happens when you plug the computer back in?  It is connected to the power source that brings it to life…Now, push the on button to activate the computer.

Oh, this little machine has a memory and you can connect on the problem file and bring it all to life. You can Delete that file.  Choose love and kindness to rewrite the file and fill with some good memories.

These are two examples in my life where I  unplugged.

An abandoned baby, eventually adopted, a love seeker collecting marriage and divorce certificates, I attended the school of hard knocks to learn about disconnecting!  It’s the best lesson ever.

In my opinion unplugging isn’t just pretending it didn’t happen.  It’s choosing to respond to a situation instead of reacting.  Given time, if the situation is close to the heart, a time will come to reconnect and reset.

God tells us to Forgive.   Sometimes a situation causes much emotional hurt and we realize Forgiveness is an Action not a feeling.  Disconnecting is also an action, not necessarily a feeling.

Did my desire to belong go away just because a half sister had made it clear she did not want me in her space as a half sister?  No.  For weeks after the phone call, I would declare  out loud …I forgive.

Oh, then I heard a cute little saying, I forgave you and now I will forget you.   So, that’s how I disconnected in this situation.  I thought it was permanent.

That is not how God operates.  He forgives and forgets our actions not us. If we ask for wisdom, sometimes God reveals the other side of the story and let’s us feel compassion.

This is a Sunday post…I listened to our minister online today.  He taught about Daniel.  Daniel did what was right.  I know when we do what is right, God takes care of the rest.  We are not responsible for the actions of others only our response.

There is an additional healing in my soul today.  I loved my brother.  He wasn’t my half brother, he was and is my brother.  My story of adoption, rejection and searching for the unknown, spans over many years and many mistakes.  I pray to live in God’s favor and wisdom for the remaining days here.

The wrong current can ruin an appliance,  We are like an appliance in God’s hands.  Sometimes we overload, crash and burn, but He can put us together again.

Do you love me?   Do you love me?  Oh my God says, ” Yes, I love you.”

Go Forth and Prosper,

Molinda Sue